​“So, does having high Achievement as a value mean I’m going to be successful?”

The person asking the question was not kidding around. His eyes were wide and earnest, and he clutched his Values Bridge results in his hand, the printout marked up with notes and rumpled from multiple readings. “I really need to understand this,” he said, “and also my Workcentrism, and Belonging. And I’m wondering why my Agency is so low.”

I have never felt such affection for a 15-year-old in my life, this particular one being the son of a close friend. It started last winter. He had just taken The Values Bridge, and so had his four friends, all at his house for a sleepover. When they found us – my friend and I – in her living room having coffee after dinner, it was like being set up by a pack of beagles wanting to be cuddled and fed.

Luckily my friend is a Becoming You certified coach and a family therapist to boot, so cuddle and feed we did, answering their questions about their values until we were tuckered out. (They were not, and stayed up to watch Friends reruns for hours. Go figure.)

Look, The Values Bridge was not designed for teenagers. Then again, it wasn’t designed for any particular age group; it was designed for humans in search of purpose and direction. At our Intensives, we’ve had people of every age, from 16 to 78. But in the past two years, several of our coaches have taken Becoming You to high school classrooms and counseling sessions with great success, and we will soon have a Becoming You high school teaching program developed by one of our curriculum designers.

​Which is why this week landed the way it did. My granddaughter Lirael visited, I gave a speech I was proud of, I saw an old friend. But then, just today, I met with a dozen rising high school seniors who had just gone through Becoming You at their high school, led by our coach Trina Clemans. Their questions blew me away with their sincerity and insight, but so did their enthusiasm for what Becoming You had done in their lives.

Hate of the Week

​I hate that I doubted the Knicks at halftime of game four. I hate that I said unkind things — things that might have included the phrase "pathetic losers." I hate that I claim to be a true-blue New Yorker, yet I forsook our hometown team in the very hour they needed their fans most. I hate that during their once-in-a-lifetime comeback, I acted like I'd known it would happen all along.

Thank God no one will ever know.

​We got wonderful news this week that the Becoming You podcast is doing better than ever, doubling its listeners in just the last month alone. Yay, and if you are a listener, thank you! And thank you also to all the people who shared their big feels about my crazy yellow dress story. And sorry not sorry, if you want to know what that means, you will have to listen.

Speaking of crazy, the success of the podcast has prompted us to launch a second podcast. Why the heck not? I love talking to you – and hearing back – and to that end exactly, the new podcast, called “Please Advise,” will be entirely devoted to answering listener questions about work, life, love, dogs, parenting, business school, Britney Spears, memoirs, travel – you name it, I’m down to opine. So please, enter your inner “hmm” and send me your queries at [email protected]. We will happily invite you to come on the podcast (by phone) to ask your question live. Write me!

I’m waiting, with love,

What's coming?

What If a Yellow Dress, in the Pages of Vogue, Told the Story of Your Life? Part 2

Francesca Pilato did not do what she was told. Not once. Not ever. And in 1929 Rochester, New York, that came with consequences no one in my family would talk about for generations. This week, I'm finishing the 123-year story of my grandmother — a Sicilian immigrant who survived the unthinkable, built something extraordinary, and left behind a yellow dress that sat untouched on a shelf for 30 years. The question is: why wouldn't I wear it?